When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too much attention on your self, too much focus on what you are doing and how you are doing it. And this is a formula for poor performance.
The secret then to dealing with this problem is to become other conscious.
If all you do is shift your focus from self to others you will communicate better, perform better and become a far better listener.
Another positive consequence is that other people will enjoy spending time with you because it is so obvious you give them your complete attention.
Your goal is to become so fascinated by other people that your focus is on what they say, how they say it and why they say it.
6 Tips for Becoming Other Conscious:
1. Pay attention to the way people breathe, watch closely and observe the relationship between breathing and speaking.
2. Listen not just to what people say but the way they say it. Pay very close attention to speech patterns, changes in tempo, volume and tone.
3. Ask thoughtful questions to understand the way others think. Really strive to grasp why others think what they think.
4. Whenever your focus shifts back to the way you are behaving ask yourself questions about the other person so you need to pay attention to him e.g.
5. Use your imagination to change your mood and to keep your mind too occupied to be self-conscious.
You could for example imagine that the people you are talking to are wearing no clothes or inappropriate clothes. Why not have some fun, feel good and still enjoy a good conversation?
You owe it to yourself to find as many ways as possible to feel good. As I have said before excellent communication skills are more dependant on your mental and emotional states than on clever language patterns.
6. Use affirmations to condition a new belief about your ability to be relaxed and other conscious. For example:
About The Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Have you ever noticed how the way you feel about... Read More
How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things OverJim... Read More
Dogs distrust hot air balloons. I gathered this tidbit as... Read More
Has it ever occurred to you how much you are... Read More
First of all, criticalness breaks up more relationships, than anything... Read More
None of us like to think of ourselves as victims.... Read More
Recently, I saw an exhibition of paintings by a very... Read More
A journey by a web-footed gull through a sea of... Read More
Are you one of the millions of people who make... Read More
What can we learn about careers from watching Donald Trump... Read More
Never understimate the power of a well-written word. Tens of... Read More
I think that we're all probably familiar with the fairground... Read More
Emotional intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we... Read More
"Fortune befriends the bold." - John DrydenI regularly work with... Read More
Having a mentor can mean the difference between success and... Read More
Why are you in business? Hopefully you enjoy what you... Read More
"Stop and smell the roses," people often say. Then they... Read More
As a manager you are constantly being asked to do... Read More
Not long ago, I traveled back east to Ohio and... Read More
When did you last do that? When did you last... Read More
Playing Our Part:Sir Michael Costa was conducting a rehearsal, in... Read More
Thoughts are real things. As soon as you realize how... Read More
(Channelled)Roy?I am sending you this quote from Sōtō Zen, Dōgen's... Read More
It is my personal opinion that there are two words... Read More
As I work with clients as their introspective Inner Peace/Relationship... Read More
Not long ago, I traveled back east to Ohio and... Read More
An age old battle in improv that I believe resonates... Read More
One day when I was in school, many years ago,... Read More
Playing Our Part:Sir Michael Costa was conducting a rehearsal, in... Read More
Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided... Read More
Whether it is irritability or unmitigated rage, anger is an... Read More
I show my clients a way to answer the question,... Read More
There is a point at which everything becomes simple and... Read More
Do you realise that if you're green you're growing and... Read More
If you feel the heat of burn-out, it is possible... Read More
An awful lot of fantastic coaching has been coming out... Read More
At a time when the global economy is bringing innovation,... Read More
Most of us know that assertiveness will get you further... Read More
As an ADD Coach, I usually begin my conversations with... Read More
Why are you so busy? Do you really have too... Read More
"Nothing is more practical than for people to deepen themselves.... Read More
Of the 60,000 people who lived to be over 100... Read More
Ever find yourself stuck in that awful loop of inactivity?... Read More
Some time ago I attended a birthday party and met... Read More
As a manager you are constantly being asked to do... Read More
Anybody who has visited my website at Motivation & Self... Read More
If you need to put on boots and grab a... Read More
Having excellent persuasion skills is one of the most important... Read More
Are you using the Life Potential you have been given?... Read More
I'm calling you out. Issuing a Challenge. Relax, It's not... Read More
Coaching Coaching |