Where I live there seems to be a a growing population of rude and vulgar people. And no matter how hard I wish for things to change it is not going to happen. It is up to me to change how I think and feel about these people. The same applies for you.
1. What does it mean when someone is rude?
Your initial angry reaction may be to think the person is a moron but that only makes matters worse as it will comes across in the way you talk.
I prefer to view such behavior as evidence that the person is doing the best he can with what he has. This belief makes it easier for you to accept the person even though you may not like his approach.
Look for the good in people and you are a lot more likely to find it.
2. Is it your fault?
When you encounter vulgarity it is worth pausing to ask yourself have you encouraged this behavior. Maybe you played along with this gutter talk in the past so the person thinks you do not mind it.
Or perhaps you have done something that has annoyed the person so much they cannot control their anger and annoyance.
In either of these cases it is best to slowly lead the person back to a polite discussion. You can do this by asking highly specific questions that force the person to slow down and think before replying.
If you honestly did not do anything to encourage the rudeness you are clearly dealing with someone who habitually talks in this way.
Unless you can change the person you just have to accept him as he is.
3. What can you do?
Ultimately you have a choice - avoid dealing with vulgar people where possible or join them! Only joking!
Seriously though if you cannot avoid them you need to remember how to take charge of conversations. Plus you need to ensure you remain strong and unaffected by their manner.
In the meantime you can achieve quite a lot by distinguishing between the person and the way they deliver their message to you.
Look beyond their words to the real message they are trying to convey.
We all have a bad day now and again maybe you just bumped into them while they were stuck at a low point.
About The Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Life coaching has become fashionable in recent years and there... Read More
Organizations are finally creating cultures that support a work and... Read More
The surprising answer is "probably". Most individuals don't realize that... Read More
Last month I was invited to participate in a charity... Read More
As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 22,... Read More
In principle, we don't want to give up coaching employees.... Read More
What If You Could Ask Anyone For Help?Have you ever... Read More
I know you probably have heard of the movie, "The... Read More
In the 1950s Abraham Maslow published a book entitled "... Read More
When a conversation is not working out there is the... Read More
There is a point at which everything becomes simple and... Read More
Imagine stepping into the gym for the first time in... Read More
My sister is a woman now beginning her thirties. She... Read More
1. If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change... Read More
Having found a coach you feel comfortable and excited about... Read More
Use all of your brain to be your most effective."Running... Read More
As responsible employers, parents, and friends, we have an obligation... Read More
Coaching is an effective process used to support individuals in... Read More
How many times have you said to yourself?"I just wish... Read More
What Is Self-Esteem?Self-esteem literally means to esteem, or respect, yourself.... Read More
Today an increasing number of us are experiencing burnout, low... Read More
There are 2 key skills that coaches need to be... Read More
If you know who I mean when I say Kwame,... Read More
There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If... Read More
My wife says I have the strangest taste in movies.... Read More
From grimaces to stomach knots, talking about marketing seems to... Read More
To keep at the top of your game you have... Read More
A career coach or mentor is a person who can... Read More
When a conversation is not working out there is the... Read More
Viewpoints! Everyone has them and they are personal. However, when... Read More
In my work with individuals and couples, I see many... Read More
But first you've got to raise your standards.I know at... Read More
As a manager you are constantly being asked to do... Read More
I was talking to one of my coaching clients and... Read More
In this discussion, we talk about Coaching Skills with Phil... Read More
What it takes to GROW!In almost every workshop we deliver,... Read More
A friend called me the other day from Lower Alabama.... Read More
What's the alternative to making decisions?Allowing someone else, or circumstances,... Read More
Sometimes life can seem like one long series of unsolvable... Read More
Ten years ago I was fortunate enough to be heavily... Read More
This article is for those of you who coach or... Read More
Do you find yourself striving upward in life yet making... Read More
Sometimes it is helpful to review several of the basic... Read More
While working with a client several months ago, we went... Read More
Terms like Postpartum, Post Traumatic and Post Gulf War are... Read More
"The more I want to get something done, the less... Read More
This morning I watched a news article about a young... Read More
In business, individuals often secure the services of a success... Read More
Leaders today have many challenges when it comes to guiding... Read More
Coaching Coaching |