The Problem with Blame? If You Fix the Blame, You Ignore the Problem

Have you ever found yourself in a hurry to leave the house for an appointment when you could not find your car keys?

Imagine that you and a friend are in a hurry to leave for an important event. You turn over the couch cushions, rifle through the newspapers on the dining room table, search your previous day's pants pockets, and dig through your purse. Your car keys are nowhere to be found.

Many frantic minutes later, you finally locate the keys. But instead of heading out the door, you argue about who was responsible for misplacing the keys.

Preposterous, isn't it? Laying blame is a further waste of time. Better to hit the road, right? Unfortunately this logic is often lost when ventures fail and organizations fall short of goals. There is a strong predisposition to finding the sole source of fault. But, that is not how to get things done.

Fix the Problem, Not the Blame

This Japanese proverb provides an important lesson on how to appropriately respond to failure. Laying blame will distract you from resolution. To articulate why, I am going to share a revelation with you.

Failure is Painful

We have all been there. Plans are made, resources committed, hours spent towards achieving a goal. Success or failure can weigh on numerous factors and solitary decisions. When failure happens, you are disappointed. You hurt, and you should hurt. The pain of failure is healthy, and can be very productive.

If you believe it is unreasonable to expect perfection, then you allow for the possibility of failure. Excellence is found in your response to failure, not in your elimination of it-that would be folly.

Excellence cannot be achieved without staying steadfast and focused on your goals. Within the construct of excellence, failure is feedback from the system you are operating in. Failure is a call to alter your strategies or improve your execution.

We all make mistakes. Mistakes put you in pain. To solve the problem, requires learning from your mistakes. Why is the pain of failure healthy?

Pain Teaches

The pain experienced by your failure is your conscience providing motivation to change and the urgency to mitigate the damage. Disavowing the pain, by laying blame, provides you with relief at the cost of distracting your focus and energy away from where it is needed to produce corrective action and results.

Take the timeless example of a losing sports team. When a team is losing, when its performance is inferior to its competitors, what is the standard response? Dismiss the coach; rather than those directly responsible for performance, the players. How often does this improve performance?

Certainly there are instances when coaching changes result in more wins, but rarely are those changes long-lasting. Sports teams relying on a coaching change to alter results are acting in a false logic.

The rare exception when a leadership change produces lasting positive results becomes the justification for others to follow the example. In part, it is the path of least resistance. However, these exceptions do not disprove the rule: fix the problem.

Turnarounds in performance are more often influenced by other factors: changes in tactics, euphoria stemming from the short-term pain relief, changes in personnel or alterations on a systems level.

Whether or not you believe in the chaos theory maxim that the flutter of a butterfly's wings in one part of the world can influence weather in another part, success and failure are systemic. On an individual level, your lasting success is derived from your habits, your work ethic, the system of actions and responses that you have taken the time to program into your psyche, to learn.

This systematic influence of habits, work ethic, and programmed actions and responses, are also true on a corporate level. Where coaching changes, or changes in corporate leadership, are most beneficial is when these changes are a component of systematic alterations.

Then, why are we attracted to blame?

Blame is Easy

Our failures, both individual and corporate, leave us in pain. The psychological process of choosing blame over resolution is immediate gratification. Blame provides a path of less resistance. Resolution requires patience, fortitude, and rigor. Just as it is easier to break a vase then fix it, it is also easier to point the finger at the one who broke the vase then fix it.

However where pain is concerned, you can either pay now, or pay later with interest.

To employ another timeless example, observe closely the next time a highly visible publicly traded company replaces their CEO. The popularity of the move among the financial markets will be reflected in the short-term fluctuation of their stock price. But, what happens long-term?

If the dismissal is a scapegoat gesture, there will be no lasting improvement in the company's financial performance. The company took the easy way out. If the performance improves long-term, you can be sure that the dismissal was part of a systemic initiative: individual and collective habits changed, new plans were developed and carried out, a viable strategic vision was undertaken.

Fix the Problem or the Blame

It is not viable to expect that humans or any collection of humans will not make mistakes. If you are focused on achieving a goal, mistakes are a call to alter your strategy or improve your performance.

So you have a choice: either fix the problem or the blame! You cannot do both. Fixing the blame has the effect of diminishing pain, the same pain that would facilitate the lessons that need to be learned to avoid similar mistakes in the future.

REPUBLISHING PERMISSION: You are welcome to download or reprint this article so long as you include my byline and copyright at the end of each piece with a live weblink. Please forward publication specifics to http://www.JeffSimon-Consulting.com/. The attribution should read:

"By Jeff Simon of Jeff Simon Consulting, The Client Retention Specialists. Are you having trouble keeping your best clients? Please visit Jeff's website at http://www.JeffSimon-Consulting.com/ for additional articles and resources for keeping your best clients."



3 Secrets to Developing Superior People Skills

1. If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change... Read More

Whats in it for me if I Hire A Coach?

1. An unshakable foundation:Create and build your life from the... Read More

God, Grant Me Patience.....And, I Want It Now!!

Are you facing a difficult time in your life? Do... Read More

Do You Trust Your Mentor(s)?

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it,... Read More

Top Ways to Maximize Your Talents at Work

Are you maximizing your strengths and promoting your talents at... Read More

Success at Work : People Skills : Complaining

Do you know an individual at work who is a... Read More

Creating An Effective Toolbox For Success

WHAT'S IN YOUR TOOLBOX?Think tools are just for builders and... Read More

D.I.S.C.I.P.L.I.N.E.

What does this word really mean anyway? According to Webster's... Read More

Drop and Gimme Ten!

Every one of us have dreams, desires and goals that... Read More

COACHING: When it?s Beyond Oprah and Dr. Phil

How many more servings of the daytime self-help salad will... Read More

What is Life Coaching?

An recent article in Money Magazine said that "A coach... Read More

Assertive Communication: 20 Helpful Tips

Most of us know that assertiveness will get you further... Read More

Training is Not the Same Thing as Exercising

What it takes to GROW!In almost every workshop we deliver,... Read More

Trust In The Moment, and Trust In Yourself

Do you often get yourself upset and feeling less than... Read More

Going Beyond Life Coaching

In Corrogue the air is chill and the frost is... Read More

Living In The Now

I hope you are sitting down as you read this!... Read More

Beware of Psychic Vampires

I am often asked how I stay happy and motivated... Read More

Pecked to Death By Ducks

Ever been in a situation where it seems like minor... Read More

Priorities: Are You Living Yours?

In the Charles Dickens classic, "The Christmas Story", Scrooge is... Read More

Can I Be My Own ADD Coach?

Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss... Read More

Happiness and Work: Your Life Depends On It.

Early one morning, Robert awoke, made his wife of 41... Read More

What I Would Include In A Coaching Book

A coach is an essential figure in providing direction and... Read More

How to Turn Around A Sinking Conversation - 7 Tips

When a conversation is not working out there is the... Read More

What The Buddha Says About Coaches

There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If... Read More

The Benefits of Coaching

When I was first introduced to the profession of personal... Read More

If you'd like to keep up-to-date,
please complete the form below and we'll put you on the mailing list
to receive our twice-yearly newsletter for supporters

* Your email address:
* choes your language: