In my attempts to find the love of my life, I knew that they were not going to be found in the town where I lived, so I took to the Internet. My first experience was the result of a television commercial. They looked so darn happy, you couldn't help but wonder if this could also work for you, so I tried it. Put it this way, finding my "Mr. Right" may have ended up costing me a small fortune!
Then one day I was working on my computer and along came an annoying pop-up. Normally, I delete them as fast as they pop-up, but this one caught my eye. It was for another dating site. Once inside the site, I was amazed at all of the handsome black men and a few white ones too, who were looking for the perfect black woman.
Because of how I am, my desire for monogamy, this is who I was looking for, someone who had the same desire as me. What I quickly found out, on my first night on the site is that most men don't even bother to read your profile they just look at your picture and click! Thanks for the compliment, I think? However, when a man takes the time to read your profile, he is going a little deeper than just the physical attraction and actually learns a little about you before sending you a message.
At that time my profile was a little friendlier, more inviting. What I found was that I spent more time eliminating those who did not fit the bill until I thought I had found the one. However I have a hard time giving all of my attention and affection to someone who is not returning the favor. And because of who I am, it is not in my nature to be intimate with more than one person at a time. To me, intimacy definitely includes more than just sex. It involves allowing a person to really get to know who you are, what your likes and dislikes are, what your loves and fears are, trusting to the point of vulnerability. So because I was not getting what I needed in return for what I was giving, I said audios!
I decided to give this site another go. This time I spelled out exactly what I expected, in my profile. It was probably more intimidating to some. I think that they could tell that I was very serious about what I was saying and if they are all about the game, they don't even bother to click. That's good! As I say, that way I don't have to bother cutting away the fat to get to the meat. Or as one gentleman said, "the apples at the top of the tree are more appealing but the ones on the ground are easier to get." I am still the same person, but this time I am realizing that it's really all about the game. The object of the game is to talk with whomever you want, as many as you want, as much as you want, as intimately as you want, all at the same time, and finally, if you choose to do so, you can select the one who has won you over from all of your many admirers. However, don't forget that while you are being pursued by him, he is being pursued by others and he is also pursuing others at the same time he is pursuing you. It's like one big orgy!
For this very reason, I don't think that online dating is right for me. But let's turn that around. Online dating is what you make it. You can play by your own rules. As for me, I really don't care what the others do; I will stick to my molasses method of one person at a time. The problem is finding that one who would be willing to give up the buffet to see what the steak taste like. I'm sure that it will take me longer this way to find the one who is right for me, but after all when I do, it will have been well worth the time-for both of us!
Victoria Leal is the President and CEO of MarriageSecretsRevealed.com. To find helpful information on how to have a happy marriage or what to expect before you get married, please visit: http://www.marriagesecretsrevealed.com
This article is copyright © 2005 by Victoria Leal and may be reprinted in it's entirety as long as this byline and copyright statement are included.
Many of my clients that I coach are single and... Read More
Creating a personal ad for online dating services is not... Read More
Jody's quest in finding a suitable partner for marriage seemed... Read More
Six months ago an old school friend and I were... Read More
Most of us walk around caught up in our own... Read More
Online dating is a great way to contact and meet... Read More
In my attempts to find the love of my life,... Read More
Dear Soulmate,Where are you?? It seems as if I have... Read More
What's the Number One Question that Everyone Asks About CyberDating?Everyone... Read More
Well, I have decided to move forward once again. I... Read More
Dating is the first step to love. I am going... Read More
Food in teeth, nausea, childhood stories and exposing your pot... Read More
Online dating is as safe, and in some ways safer... Read More
IntroductionNothing gets the heart pumping quite like the nervous anticipation... Read More
The popularity of online dating has increased dramatically over the... Read More
Q. My boyfriend failed a dating quiz. Should I dump... Read More
First impressions are important, which is why it is essential... Read More
Dating is a challenge at any age and for both... Read More
Does your significant other cry at goofy commercials? Does she... Read More
There are many more reasons than just ten that I... Read More
1. Tattoos.Tattoos used to be the colouring of soldiers, sailors,... Read More
With more people turning to online dating every year, it's... Read More
Do you know everything about Russian women that could help... Read More
The building of self-confidence is not difficult, but it requires... Read More
Before you pick up the phone to make reservations for... Read More
The number one mistake made by men on the first... Read More
Every woman has a fantasy from the time she was... Read More
So you have scored the date, she has agreed to... Read More
Are you a teen who is dating? Are you a... Read More
Next to your internal mindset (which should be relaxed, confident,... Read More
More American women over 45 are single, than ever before.... Read More
Conversation starters can literally save your life on a first... Read More
Your profile is the key to meeting your perfect match... Read More
Looking To Meet Women? Craving Female Company?Well, you've come to... Read More
We know one of the hardest part of creating your... Read More
The first date is the most apprehensive, nerve wreaking event... Read More
Are you tired of the whole dating scene? Have you... Read More
Heather had been dating Ben for a little over two... Read More
Had you ever been in the situation where your heart... Read More
Deal Breakers. Everyone's got them. You know: the instant turn-offs... Read More
It is often said that sales is a numbers game.... Read More
Being an expat in a foreign country where you don't... Read More
Free dating online-you've heard about it, you've read about it,... Read More
Searching the web for a dating or personals site can... Read More
Get a Girl To Seduce You By Changing Your Body... Read More
Online dating has become increasingly popular over the past several... Read More
Have you ever imagined what it would be like to... Read More
My husband and I used to live in NYC. WE... Read More
Romantic relationships happen because of the hopes and dreams a... Read More
Flattery will get you everywhere! Always compliment women and they... Read More
Dating Dating |