Other people can bring tremendous happiness to our lives but we cannot rely on them alone for happiness. Clinging to people because we think our happiness depends on them can have a disastrous effect on any relationship.
Our happiness, ultimately, is our own responsibility and not someone else's.
Trisha Goddard runs a kind of Oprah solve your problems discussion group on UK TV. One of her guests, Sarah, aged 25, was worried that her younger boyfriend would cheat on her with younger women.
Trisha advised her to stop worrying and get off her butt and do exercise etc to make herself the best she could be at 25. This would help her to feel good about herself whatever else happened.
"You can't stop any one cheating on you", said Trisha. "They will do what they have to do but you can work on yourself. So do what you can do and do not have angst about what you can't."
No one can control how someone else feels about them; they can only ultimately control how they feel about themselves. If they learn to love themselves they are more likely to be loved by others.
People are more likely to love themselves if they make the most of themselves by following Trisha's advice i.e. "Get off your butt and do exercise or whatever it takes to be the best you can be."
In fact, Sarah was worrying unnecessarily. Her younger boyfriend told her he loved her and would not cheat on her because he already had what he wanted. He just wanted some peace!
Another guest, Andrea, was concerned about her attractiveness and her life. She had put on 8 stone in one year and weighed 20 stone. She just sat at home on her bed in her nightie but was scared of sleeping in case she did not wake up: "I can't sleep and I can't breathe."
Some very good advice was provided with enthusiasm by a caring audience
One young woman suggested that Andrea go shopping with daughter, Vickie, and buy some clothes she looked good in. She should also buy some clothes too small to give her a goal to work towards.
Another woman called Samantha described how she trained twice a week for two hours: "The other people in the gym don't notice you. I had to go because I was paying! The trainer turned 'I can't' into 'I can' by just telling me: 'You are doing this.' "
Anthony Brown, an expert from the audience, gave Andrea some four star advice: "Structure your day and work out a schedule. Don't eat after 7 p.m. What you want will happen. What you want to achieve is achievable. Don't be scared to lose weight because there can't be anything scarier than dying or getting some illness from obesity in a few years time. Help your family and your self as well. Take action for yourself because you are doing it for you and you want to feel better."
Of course the advisers could not follow their advice on Andrea's behalf. That is the bad news but the good news is that, as humans, we can choose to follow any good advice we want and no one else can stop us except ourselves. This good news is obvious but we often seem to forget it. Our life and our happiness are in our own hands.
We've got the whole of the rest of our lives in our hands!
About the author
John Watson is an award winning teacher and martial arts instructor. He has recently written two books about achieving your goals and dreams. They can both be found on his website http://www.motivationtoday.com along with a daily motivational message.
The title of the first book is "36 Laws To Ignite Your Inner Power And Realize Your Dreams Now! - Acronyms, Stories, And Pictures...Easy To Remember And Use Everyday To Grab Your Life And Soar With The Eagles"
The book can be found at this URL http://www.motivationtoday.com/36_laws.php
The book uses acronyms, stories and pictures to help readers remember 36 laws that can gradually transform your life if you apply them.
You are welcome to publish the article above in your ezine or on your website so long as you do not alter it and keep in the words about the author and the 36 Laws.
You can be as happy as you want whenever you... Read More
Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time... Read More
The freeway was relatively clear. It was early in the... Read More
Boiled down to all of our essence, all we really... Read More
When it comes to happiness, togetherness is probably the most... Read More
According to U.S. research, you can add seven and a... Read More
The outcome of Reason # 2 is that you become... Read More
Don't Let Life Happen To You ... Read More
Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and trigger... Read More
Did you know that there are gifts that will multiply... Read More
Jesus says in Matthew 13:25"But while men slept, his enemy... Read More
Can you remember a time when you became a little... Read More
Who is the happiest person in America? USA Today featured... Read More
Taking a Magickal Bath doesn't have to be complicated. It... Read More
Is there any necessary connection between our actions and the... Read More
Whatever we want in life, a partner, more money, good... Read More
Each moment is filled with miracles - very special treasures... Read More
What is happiness? The dictionary defines it as "a state... Read More
Happiness is a state of mind, so your state of... Read More
One of the most important colors in advertising is the... Read More
Happiness comes to a person when it is caused by... Read More
It seems like I set out in this life to... Read More
Everyone I've ever met considers happiness to be desirable. There... Read More
Though his racing speed is a maximum 6 feet per... Read More
When we choose to move beyond the boundaries of the... Read More
Happiness is a state of mind, so your state of... Read More
What comes to your mind when you see someone who... Read More
Achieving a level of personal happiness previously unknown is closer... Read More
Want to make a difference? What can one person do?... Read More
What is happiness? If we mean by it a state... Read More
Gail was a quiet, shy, young lady. She has been... Read More
"Happiness is the whole aim and end of human... Read More
What if I told you that you have the ability... Read More
Groundedness is one of the most important components of a... Read More
We are all familiar with or have heard of the... Read More
Falling In Love with LifeThere is no feeling in the... Read More
Long-term success and happiness follows hand-in-hand with strength of character.As... Read More
When I tell you what I heard you'll be able... Read More
My life always appears to be so hectic. It's as... Read More
I have never lived anywhere else where when you walk... Read More
Happiness. The pursuit of so many. In fact, we are... Read More
Being in tune with your mind, body, and soul and... Read More
When I was in graduate school for psychology, we had... Read More
Did you know that according to research, children laugh about... Read More
Many of us are probably so used to crisis in... Read More
If one thing is for certain, each of us will... Read More
Thwack! . . . Thwack! . . . Thwack! Steven... Read More
The freeway was relatively clear. It was early in the... Read More
As a coach, I often ask myself the question why... Read More
If you have a very low self esteem or a... Read More
Finding Happiness Finding Happiness |