Holiday Tips For Stepfamilies: Let Go Of The "Brady Bunch" Fantasy!
When my co-author--Bill Merkel Ph.D.--and I first formed our stepfamily, I had many fantasies about how our family would behave like the "Brady Bunch" over the holidays-- a happy, harmonious, singing-and-dancing unit. Then reality struck, and we couldn't even agree on how to decorate the Christmas tree!
Ultimately, we created a "his" side-with multi-colored, blinking lights and tinsel--and a "hers" side-with hand-painted eggs and popcorn strings. Seven years later, I can tell you that trying to create a "Brady Bunch" holiday sets stepfamilies up for failure. Instead, I suggest you follow these tips:
1. Examine and try to let go of your "Brady Bunch" fantasies.
2. Continue "old" holiday traditions with your biological kids while creating new ones for the stepfamily.
3. If the kids don't buy into your fantasy holiday, try to see
the world from their point of view.
4. Practice the fine art of silence when your stepfamily is stressed by the holidays. You don't have to share all your negative feelings.
5. Don't compete with your children's "other" parents by showering kids with expensive gifts.
6. Stepmoms, reach out to your stepkids' mother. Buy her a gift. Tell her you appreciate her children.
7. Don't fight with ex-spouses about how much time you will
spend with children over the holidays. It only hurts the children
8. Invite your ex-spouses over for a holiday party. Brace for surprises.
9. Join a stepparent support group to share the many feelings about "family" that come up during the holiday season.
Lisa Cohn is co-author of "One Family, Two Family, New Family: Stories And Advice For Stepfamilies," a 2004 Gold National Parenting Publications Award winner. For more information, visit http://www.stepfamilyadvice.com. Email her at cohnmerk@comcast.net
It is never too soon to begin planning the perfect... Read More
The holidays will be here before you know it. Clear... Read More
For many people the end of a year is a... Read More
For many people the end of a year is a... Read More
"The stress-free way to enjoy the holidays is to plan,... Read More
"Here's to the bright New Year, and a fond farewell... Read More
Holidays and the start of a new year inevitably make... Read More
As a personal growth specialist, I like to think I'm... Read More
I remember just a handful of the Christmas presents I... Read More
Holidays have the potential to send an adult with Attention... Read More
Are you ready for Mother's Day? Yes I realize it's... Read More
Too often we forgo entertaining because of the mere thought... Read More
Just as soon as the stores put away their Christmas... Read More
With Mother's Day approaching fast, it's time to begin thinking... Read More
John Grisham wrote a book called SKIPPING CHRISTMAS. Amazon.com reports:... Read More
I casually glanced down at my hand, but instead of... Read More
Family traditions connect us to past and future generations. They... Read More
Birthday party supplies and decorations can bring that necessary magic... Read More
Father's Day is just around the corner. If you're looking... Read More
It can be very hard to find that one perfect... Read More
Twentieth through the twenty-fourth anniversaries traditional gift is china. Vintage... Read More
To a large extent the holidays have come to be... Read More
No matter how many lists you make, cards you send,... Read More
This holiday season don't be trendy ? avoid the Seasonal... Read More
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" If... Read More
Close your eyes and remember December, the smell of cinnamon... Read More
I was listening to one of my favorite radio talk... Read More
It's impossible to remember what gift is traditional for each... Read More
On July 4th 1776 the Continental Congress adopted the Declaration... Read More
Ah, the beginning of a New Year. A time to... Read More
The oldest Valentine card still in existence was sent in... Read More
Some time ago I received a gift from both of... Read More
Did you know that you can make your own Halloween... Read More
The general word on the Internet is the first Valentine... Read More
While mothers have had their special day since 1914, fathers... Read More
1. Santa Spends More Than He MakesSanta's paychecks are nothing... Read More
First, a disclaimer:This article requires information about John the Baptist,... Read More
A Creative Dream Come TrueA hush falls over the room... Read More
"Mother: the most beautiful word on the lips of mankind."... Read More
Santa Claus Is ComingHoliday season brings the perennial return of... Read More
The holidays are upon us and for many people this... Read More
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, it's time to... Read More
Ever wondered how February 14 became, the day on which... Read More
Are you looking for special Halloween party ideas that will... Read More
Some people hate to see Valentines Day come around. Some... Read More
Hasn't time flown? Only six weeks to Christmas!Now you may... Read More
After all the gifts have been purchased and placed under... Read More
If your product or service can be given as a... Read More
Father's Day should not be the only day that we... Read More
Are you looking for the Ultimate Army Themed Party Games... Read More
Holiday Holiday |