To: Maybelle Misfire
From: I. M.. Power, VP
Welcome aboard! Delighted you have accepted a position as planning analyst with Mega Corp. See you in September, as they say.
To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Nefarious Airlines
We are sorry to learn that Fluffy feels humiliated if her cat carrier is marked "Excess Baggage."
Please remember that, in proportion to her size, Fluffy has more room in her carrier than our first class passengers enjoy in their recliner seats. Anyway, your cats are well known in the airline world. We had to override the Hazardous Cargo Alert to allow Fluffy on board in any capacity.
To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Mega Corp Human Resources
We're delighted to learn that you will be joining us for your extended leave. To move your household goods, we contracted with Organization Movers, The owner, Frankie Felon, got his start dealing questionable substances at networking parties in his MBA program. Frankie's lawyer, Big Tony, assures us Frankie has reformed.
To Organization Moving
From: Maybelle Misfire
I've always wanted to develop an ad campaign on the topic, Life without Furniture (not to mention clothing, dishes or sheets), and I am deeply grateful to your company for giving me an opportunity to experience this condition while my possessions remain lost somewhere near Delaware.
Since both my origin and destination are both west of the Mississippi, I'm glad my furniture will get to see something of the East Coast, even if I don't. However, my data collection is now approaching redundancy and I am ready to sleep in my own bed again.
To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Organization Moving
We can authorize temporary accommodations until your furniture arrives, but we cannot force any hotel on the planet to accept Fluffy, Tabby and Furball as guests.
Nor can we authorize restaurant meals for felines. We are sure Fluffy will recover from the trauma of eating off a paper plate on the floor. Alas, we don't have a Feline Therapy Unit, but Big Tony has offered to devote some quality one-on-one time to Fluffy's morale problem.
To: Customer Service, Organization Moving Corp.
From: Central Dispatch, Organization Moving Corp.
Who hired Driver Tom in the first place? When the Highway Patrol asks about funny-looking plants, our drivers are supposed to declare them as household geraniums, slightly wilted from travel trauma.
They are not supposed to say, "Gee, I dunno, but it sure looks like something from the sixties, don't it?"
After the entire van had been unloaded and inspected at the Oklahoma border, and all the dust analyzed, Tom just started driving east and didn't stop till he saw the ocean. It's up to the PR suits to tell Maybelle Misfire what happened to her stuff.
To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Customer Service, Organization Moving
We are genuinely sorry about the delay associated with delivery of your household goods. Believe me, our founders know all about life on the run.
We believe you will understand when we tell you that Driver Tom, one of our most experienced and dedicated professionals, halted his truck when he spied a cat caught in a tree on a freezing cold day. (OK, it was August, but he was in the mountains.)
Fortunately, ladders are standard equipment for Organization Movers. Driver Tom climbed the tree, rescued the cat and held its paw during surgery at the local veterinary hospital. After getting medical treatment for his own scratches, Tom climbed right back in his truck--but not before making sure that the cat would have a loving home with the veterinarian's assistant. We're sure you would have done the same.
To: Maybelle Misfire
From: I. M. Power, VP
Welcome to your new job. For your first project, we want you to analyze the customer service of our newest client -- our own Organization Movers.
Seems like they have a PR problem. Should be easy to fix.
On the other hand, you may have trouble getting primary data. Customers who complain tend to have forwarding addresses like, "Lost Gulch, New Mexico."
If you like feline humor, you may enjoy my ebook, Maybelle Lives! and my advice to cats who move. For serious advice about moving with cats, consult my trade book, Making the Big Move.
About The Author
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career/business consultant, helping midlife professionals take their First step to a Second Career. http://www.cathygoodwin.com.
"Ten secrets of mastering a major life change" mailto:subscribe@cathygoodwin.com
Contact: cathy@cathygoodwin.com 505-534-4294
My dad's lab was a mess, but then it was... Read More
I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I... Read More
I will start this by saying that yes, I did... Read More
You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time... Read More
Ace of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some... Read More
Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy... Read More
How To Marry A Wealthy Guy(or Girl... Or at least... Read More
A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B... Read More
Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident... Read More
A couple of days ago I had to go to... Read More
A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection... Read More
Over visiting a neighbor the other day?"Would you like a... Read More
Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few... Read More
I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just... Read More
We all want attention. As children we crave the attention... Read More
This past week as Mr. Man and I lounged around... Read More
Tired of the same ol', same ol' when it come... Read More
Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the... Read More
Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let's... Read More
Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in... Read More
He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house... Read More
I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark... Read More
It's time for me to announce that I have a... Read More
Do you believe in the power of your convictions?It's time... Read More
Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just... Read More
A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We... Read More
My dad's lab was a mess, but then it was... Read More
Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident... Read More
Let me start by saying that 'I am an American'... Read More
Have you ever heard the name Will Schwenk? Or the... Read More
As the cloning debate of humankind continues we find ourselves... Read More
Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food?... Read More
Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go... Read More
This column is long overdue. To put it in library... Read More
Well, I hope you did not read that headline wrong,... Read More
Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital... Read More
Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the... Read More
I... Read More
LibraHit TV show 'The X Factor' is back on our... Read More
I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just... Read More
Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted... Read More
I went to the eye doctor the other day. I... Read More
We all want attention. As children we crave the attention... Read More
Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my... Read More
Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much... Read More
This past week as Mr. Man and I lounged around... Read More
When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the... Read More
I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I... Read More
If you ever saw Aristophanes live on stage, you must... Read More
Do you believe in the power of your convictions?It's time... Read More
Humor & Entertainment Humor & Entertainment |