A reader asks: "Many times in my life I have let fear rule me and stop me from doing something I wanted to do. Do you have any suggestions for how to handle fear?"
There are many successful strategies for dealing with fear in your life. What I'll offer you today are a variety of strategies, each of which can stand alone or can be used in conjunction with each other.
One is to realize that everyone is afraid from time to time. Some people show it. Some people don't, which makes them look like they have it all together and are never afraid.
Every teenage boy knows the fear of rejection that causes him to hang up when the girl he wants to ask for a date answers the phone.
If you will consider the situation, or any fear of rejection, from a different perspective, I believe it will give you some power over fear. When the boy makes the phone call, he starts out not having a date. If he asks and she says yes, he has gained a date. If she says no, he has what he had when he started, no date. He hasn't lost anything and he has no regrets.
That point of view can help turn fear of rejection on its head.
FEAR means
There are two acronyms for fear that I have found useful. One is that fear stands for
Forget Everything And Run.
Another is that fear stands for
False Evidence Appearing Real.
Many times our fear convinces our brains to search for evidence to support our feeling afraid. Our brains can always find evidence to support any fear.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said,
"Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain."
When it comes to facing and conquering fears, practice, practice, practice is the key. Doing little things that you fear, over and over, forces the fear to flee.
This may sound crazy, but with practice it can become a challenge, even fun.
Let's put some hands and feet on these ideas by giving you two specific techniques for conquering fear.
The first comes from Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield, co-authors of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series. In their book on the power of asking, "The Aladdin Factor" (Berkley Books, $13), the authors devote an entire chapter to the conquering of fear.
One of the most useful techniques is a two-part sentence completion. The first sentence is, "When it comes to asking for what I want, I'm afraid to ..." In the second sentence, for each example in the first, change the sentence to say "I would really like to - and I scare myself by imagining ... " They key word here is imagining. Once we realize and face how we are scaring ourselves, we are well on the way to conquering our fears.
Here's another useful technique: Take a blank sheet of paper. On one side draw a timeline from birth to the present. On the timeline, mark and date all the times in your life that you have been hindered by fear.
Now turn the page over. On one end of the page write down a major dream or goal in your life, and make a list of all the steps necessary to reach that dream or goal. Turn the paper back over and look at the timeline. That's the past. You have no control over it and can't do anything about it, except learn from it. Turn the paper over and put it behind you.
On this side of the paper is your present and future. You can do plenty about your future. You, not fear, can decide how this side of the paper will look.
Finally, let's take the word fear and create an acronym that is empowering. Fear now stands for Face Each Area Repeatedly. Do this, and your fears will have to fall.
For more tips and tools for successful living, you are invited to visit Jeff Herring's ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com
"We are responsible for everything in our lives, including how... Read More
There is nothing more important than feeling good.Come again? Didn't... Read More
Keeping a journal during the coaching process is one of... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 27,... Read More
It's interesting how we intellectually know that tomorrow will be... Read More
I grew up climbing mountains. Mountains are beautiful and challenging,... Read More
Continued...After that I stayed with him still and when he... Read More
(Excerpted from the Jim Rohn Two Day Weekend event -... Read More
We have just inherited a rag, tag and bobtail of... Read More
I looked at my father for the last time before... Read More
Treasures of a lifetime...At the end of your life will... Read More
For our diet and, indeed, in every aspect of our... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 19,... Read More
At the time I created my web site, I was... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 31,... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 3,... Read More
You've heard the saying, "You are what you eat." I... Read More
Many of us are unable to move forward with our... Read More
Recently I approached a traffic light where a man stood... Read More
Have you stopped to think what your favorite quotes are... Read More
1. Constant affirmation without accountability is a sure-fire way to... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 10,... Read More
The true test in life does not occur when all... Read More
When life has you feeling less than happy, and you... Read More
Chang lived in Flushing, Queens. Every afternoon he rode the... Read More
You always do this wrong, how many times would I... Read More
Recently I approached a traffic light where a man stood... Read More
Quotable quotes are nothing more than flowery words... And anyone... Read More
Who is Wallace Wattles? Wallace D. Wattles died over 90... Read More
The first thing that an aspiring leader must realize is... Read More
Why does this happen?It's all to do with the way... Read More
In this world we don't have to afraid to anybody... Read More
Last summer, I had an acute case of bronchitis. I... Read More
CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE!"If there is light in the soul, there... Read More
Forgiveness is a critical element in becoming self actualized and... Read More
This week is Part Five of our five part series... Read More
Recently a romantic relationship came to an end and I... Read More
Besides your daily feelings, thoughts, and experiences journal, there are... Read More
Here's a nifty trick to use to clear yourself of... Read More
The strength and durability of a building is found in... Read More
Everything is made of energy. Atoms, molecules, light, sound and... Read More
Each moment in life, "lucky" or "unlucky", is to be... Read More
"I would like to pray more. But ... how to... Read More
One of the major reasons why we fail to find... Read More
In today's fast-paced life, the wins usually go to those... Read More
Here is the typical life ? typical, though not everybody... Read More
This is a message from an Angel. Can you relate?... Read More
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and... Read More
I understand that all the self made people of this... Read More
Q: I was wondering if you could recommend any books... Read More
Inspirational Inspirational |
|