Communication Mix-Up

My friend Delia is the owner of a small private school. This spring her school is experiencing the crunch of reduced enrollment for next September and all staff have been asked to take a six percent salary decrease. One staff member, much to Delia's horror, outright refused and resigned her teaching position at the school. Delia pleaded with her, telling her how valuable a teacher she was, how parents had come to count on her expertise, and essentially how the school couldn't operate without her. The next day she had reconsidered resigning her teaching position, saying that it was because of what Delia had said regarding how valuable she was to the school.

Delia was flabbergasted! She thought that she had pampered her staff throughout the school year, giving them manicures, their birthday off, flowers or wine regularly, and dinners out. Did this staff member not see all of these treats as being rewards for her contribution to the success of the school? Guess not!

We take in and store information using the following three main representational systems:

Visual ? seeing
Auditory ? hearing
Kinesthetic ? feeling/touching/moving

We receive our information from the outside world in primarily pictures, sounds and feelings. We tend to have a dominant preference; we either prefer to receive our information from the world in one of three ways:

1. Visually, either externally or internally in our 'minds eye' as an image
2. From something we hear, either externally or from our inner voice
3. Kinesthetically, from touch or feelings

Even though we experience the world using all three representational systems, we generally favor one, use another as a secondary preference, and the third usually trails far behind.

To quote Paul Newman, in the movie Cool Hand Luke, "What we have here is a failure to communicate". This failure to communicate has been created by crossing 'representational systems'. The teacher in question receives her information in an auditory manner. Delia, on the other hand, receives her information visually, or 'show me,' 'give me things,' 'let me see you do something'. Delia has been 'showing' her staff how valuable they are, where this staff member needed to 'hear' it.

When you can figure out other people's representational systems or what sense they prefer to use when taking in information, you can communicate on their wavelength and enter their model of the world. The result is - presto, fewer communication mix-ups and instant rapport.

Lesley Cordero is President of Cordero Consulting offering personal growth solutions in the form of workshops, keynote presentations, and Internet information resources. Subscribe to her free ezine "Deep Linking" at http://www.LesleyCordero.com and receive FREE the Special Report: Deep Linking - Articles on Change & Transformation. Are You Ready ... To See Things Differently?® is her new e-book.



Outsourcing NOT Just for Big Business

Outsourcing has become a controversial issue and a hot topic... Read More

On The Job Training is Something You Canā??t Afford to Skip

Trained employees are more productive employees; thereā??s no doubt about... Read More

Reprimanding Marginal Employees

THE MARGINAL PERFORMER: Every manager must, from time to time,... Read More

Smart Choices: How to Hire the Best

Your organization's continued growth and success depend on making smart... Read More

Few Things Are More Destructive Than An Insecure Boss

Few things are more destructive to a career than a... Read More

Making Meetings Work

We have all attended meetings that were boring, mindless and... Read More

Managing Workplace Conflicts

Kinds of Workplace ConflictsLet's start by identifying where conflicts happen.... Read More

7 Tips for Growing Your Business You Do Not Want to Ignore: Business Strategies To Easily Implement

Growing companies must always be ready for the next challenge.... Read More

Assertive Communication - 6 Tips For Effective Use

What IS assertive communication? Assertive communication is the... Read More

Innovation Management and Brainstorming Management ? why people hate to brainstorm!

Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

Survival of the Fittest: The Road to Human Extinction

I was watching a TV program some months ago about... Read More

Hire People For What They Do Best

I recently flew from Seattle to Atlanta, I realized, just... Read More

Pitching to Employees

The senior flight attendant on the WestJet flight was starting... Read More

Key Control ? Who Has the Keys to Your Kingdom?

Key control, or more accurately the lack of key control... Read More

To Thine Own Self Be True--Its Better for Business: What Arthur Andersen Would Say to His Company

As a child, you probably heard, "to thine own self... Read More

Succession Planning? ... Not on My Watch!

At first blush, it would appear there is no shortage... Read More

Why Half of All Mergers Fail After the Honeymoon Ends

Marriages and corporate mergers in America have at least one... Read More

Are You Measuring Something Meaningful?

Avoiding inert measures that anaesthetise your performance management.INTRODUCTIONYou sit before... Read More

Difficult Staff - It Pays To Get To Know Them Better

It's very easy for a business owner or manager to... Read More

Dont Take New Hires for Granted

Hiring good people is only half the battle. The other... Read More

Five Strategies To Strengthen Your Company?s Financial Management

Too many businesses wait until a crisis occurs before they... Read More

Group Meeting Disrupters

MEETING DISRUPTERS: If two participants are carrying on a personal... Read More

He Hate Me: Turning Their Bad Attitude Into Your Great Results

"He Hate Me" was the nickname of Rod Smart, a... Read More

Bullying and the Not for Profit Organisation

Where there is people there is politics! Bullying is now... Read More

Six Honest Business Friends - They Guide Me In All I Do

SIX "HONEST BUSINESS FRIENDS" - THEY GUIDE ME IN ALL... Read More

If you'd like to keep up-to-date,
please complete the form below and we'll put you on the mailing list
to receive our twice-yearly newsletter for supporters

* Your email address:
* choes your language: